Parenting is hard. There’s no way to explain that. I love my little one. But it is harder than you think it will be, even if you know it will be hard in advance.
Which is part of the reason that having some good solid books behind you – especially ones that will actually tell you that you are still a good parent even when it feels like you’ve lost every battle that day – is so very important.
Top of my list for go-to parenting advice is Dr. Becky. If you are not already following Dr. Becky on Instagram (@drbeckyatgoodinside), I highly recommend that you do! Dr. Becky Kennedy’s book Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want To Be is an invaluable resource. The general basis of her book and all her advice is that if you treat everyone as if they are essentially “good inside”, you come to recognize that certain behaviors are a result of a need that isn’t being met. If you use this to be curious about what is happening with your kids, it is often easier to stay calm during tantrums and other upsets. In the end, it also helps us stay curious about ourselves, and it becomes easier to forgive ourselves when we find ourselves disregulated. That’s the TL;DR of the book anyway. There’s so much more in there!
If you need some humor, I also have two books by Bunmi Laditan on my top picks list as well. For progressive Christian parents, her book Dear God: Honest Prayers to a God Who Listens is a delight and a book I go back to regularly. Then there’s the ever true (and funny) Toddlers Are A**holes [It’s Not Your Fault]. That one I was given as a present before my little one was even born.
On a more serious note, I also put Emily Oster on my list. Do I agree with her on everything? No. But she is very helpful for cutting through all the advice for the scientific research and the reliability of the studies done.
I’ve also included on my list Oh Crap! Potty Training. I will state here and now that while I’ve read it and made sense of it, I cannot personally attest to its effectiveness. My cousin had good luck with it with her kids. However, our family’s plans for potty training were interrupted by a stomach bug. I’ll update this blog if potty training using this book is truly successful.